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Daily routines bring calm and order to the lives of children and parents. More importantly, they positively impact your children’s cognitive development. Routines that take into account children’s developmental stages and abilities promote self regulation skills, self confidence and positive behavior. By practicing a routine, children know what to expect and can predict what will happen next. While each family’s routines are unique because they reflect the lifestyle, priorities, philosophies and personalities of that unit, there are common times and situations when routines are beneficial for all families.

Why are routines helpful?

Children thrive on regularity. Routines are predictable, relieving children of anxiety, helping them to feel secure and confident. When children (and adults) know what to expect, it’s easier to be relaxed, calm and agreeable. The habits established by useful routines make family life less complicated for everyone, and this model serves children well as they get older and begin to organize their own time.

What makes routines work?

By definition, routines are actions that are performed regularly. Consistency is a must. So, think carefully about the routines you want to set in motion and whether they are reasonable and workable for your family. To be successful, consider your family’s work and school schedules, the different temperaments and developmental levels of family members, and the expectations of children and parents alike. Your children like the empowerment they feel when assuming personal responsibilities of which they are capable, increasing their ‘buy in.’ The final part of this strategy is your belief that the routines you are setting in motion are beneficial for your children and the family as a whole.

Daily routines should be unhurried, with established patterns. Below are examples of three common routines followed by families with young children. The times and steps would vary in response to each family’s needs.

Morning routine (to get out the door)

• (night before)
  • Put prepared backpack or diaper bag in specific location.
  • Set out clothing. Offer a couple of choices from which child may choose.
  • Decide breakfast food the night before, if this is an option in household.
• 6:45 a.m. Children are awakened by parent, or alarm clock for older child, in time to not be rushed.
  Make bed or just pull up covers, depending on age.
• 7:00 a.m. Children dress, brush hair, brush teeth.
• 7:10 a.m. Breakfast at the table together. Allow enough time. Children eat better when unhurried.
• 7:25 a.m. Gather bags, and head out the door!
• 7:30 a.m. Departure time met!

Dinner (this simple routine can be used for all meals)

• 6:00 p.m. Children wash hands.
  Identify age appropriate responsibilities for each child, such as: toddler putting out 
  napkins; preschooler setting table; school age child pouring milk or putting food on table.
• 6:10 p.m. Sit and eat together. Model respectful conversation in which everyone gets to talk and 
  also practice listening. Children gain confidence and security by this family connection. 
  Courteous table manners are modeled by parents and reinforced with gentle reminders.
• 6:25 p.m. Children help with the table clearing and cleaning, dependent upon age and abilities.

Bedtime (Try to precede bedtime with calm activities such as puzzles, legos, bath time.)

• 7:25 p.m. Pick up any toys still out (toys from earlier should already have been put away).
• 7:30 p.m. IF a bedtime snack is in routine, have it by now.
• 7:35 p.m. Set out clothing for the next day.
  Change into pajamas, brush teeth.
• 7:45 p.m. Read 2 or 3 stories while snuggled in bed, share quiet thoughts.
• 8:00 p.m. Hugs, kisses, lights out and ‘night night’.

Tips for setting up routines

• Involve your child in this process. They are much more likely to be cooperative if they participate in outlining the routine or schedule.
• A visual chart can be a great tool, with photos or drawings identifying the order of steps. Because the chart or order established was created together, you can refer to it if the routine needs to be reinforced. You are referring to a mutual agreement when you verbally remind them of the order or simply point to the hanging chart – not a parental dictate.
• Keep the steps simple, don’t have too many and always make them age appropriate.

Tips for maintaining routines

• Tweak a routine until it is working just right for your family.
• Give helpful warnings. First an advance warning, “In 5 minutes it will be time to pick up toys and start getting ready for bed.” Then some children need this middle warning, “In 2 minutes we’ll will be time to put away your legos.” And finally, “Okay, time to pick up toys! Would you like some help?”
• Stick to the routines and scheduled timelines. If your children are taking too much time picking out clothes for the next day, remind them that bedtime is at 8:00 and you may only have time for one story if they don’t make their clothing decisions soon.
• Having said ‘stick to your routines’, be flexible when situations do effect your routines. It is okay to miss a nap or go to bed later than usual. Special guests, birthday parties or outings are going to come up. Enjoy these times, knowing that your ‘predictable’ routines are established and life will easily return to normal.